93 Days to Go

"जितने पास पास ख़्वाबों के नज़र
उतनी पास तू रहना हमसफ़र
तू जो पास हो, फिर क्या ये जहां,
तेरे प्यार में हो जाऊं फना।"
- प्रसून जोशी, मेरे हाथ में 

If there was a staple to our non-long-distance phase, it would have to be three things - lunching together at CP or Secular house; car rides around the city; and metro rides to East Delhi. I cannot remember when we took this, but I swear I remember the hug at the end of the KKD station, and the laughter as you walked away from me. These memories, that I hold so close to my eyes, are my most precious possessions.

Every song that I listen to on long tube rides, every beat that my head bobs to on the bus ride home, I remember the times we used to share headphones and listen to music. Our recent investment in Spotify is my favourite yet, cuz it means I can see what you're listening to, and send suggestions for songs in real time. But for all the memories and the familiar tales of daily transit, the thin line between dream and reality is still an ocean we cannot traverse. I cannot wait to marry you and just become your ball and chain. I vow to you, that no matter how I feel, I will try to control myself and give you the space you need at all times. Today I felt like talking to you - I had a migraine from not sleeping the entire weekend, but I felt worse for staying away. But I believe you needed the space, and I hope I did the right thing.

The path seems to be getting clearer, you and I seem to have made a decision and seem to be gearing towards it, and yet I still feel the guilt for having put you through so much. I wish I was a better partner to you, because you deserve the best the world has to offer. Still, you settled for me, so the least I can do is try and rise to the occasion and the partner. 

Ps. Speaking of traveling, I love that we're back on the Honeymoon hunt. One of the things that haunted me about staying in London was that we wouldn't get to do the honeymoon both of us talked about more than the wedding back in the day. Now it may come to pass and I can't control my excitement.

Pps. हमें तुमसे प्यार कितना है, ये लफ़्ज़ों में नहीं हो सकता बयान।.